MORPHED & FOUND

In Loving Memory of Mildred Louise Williams Sparks Witcher

You ever had a thought where you consider submerging yourself into a swarm of happy people that some way or somehow you will become happy to? You left home early this morning. Later you ask yourself why? Was it a premonition? But at the time you just thought it would be a good idea to load the bus early to camp and get a good talking partner to sit beside on the bus ride up the mountain. You also have that feeling again so you absolutely need someone beside you. Blocking your thoughts, giving you a reason to smile and keep up the tears just a little while longer until you’re alone again. You missed seeing her. You’ll be safe soon. You remind yourself that there’s only thirty minutes to spare. You mustn’t be late or you’ll miss the opportunity of a lifetime so they say. For you it is an opportunity to get away from the very pains that are intensifying your grief and placing labels on it. Do you really have the right to be grieving so? You didn’t get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to see her one last time before..Remembering several months ago lying on her lap and whimpering as she rocked you to sleep. She runs her fingers through your hair and out loud hums and whistles a tune out loud,

‘It is alright,’

‘Everything’s going to be alright.’

You were her lady bug and you were safe; free to spillover in tears and let everything go.

On a bright-blissful, hot July. A girl sat under a tree in the mountains of Jasper Rocks. She didn’t really know why she was sitting or what her mind was forcing her to understand but she unknowingly and willingly continued to sit. Solitude was amongst her as she hid from the rest of the joyous and happy campers around the rocks. She had found a secret place where no one could disturb her, no one could ask her questions, and no one could force her to speak. For her throat was still crammed with cringed cobwebs and grievous pebble stones. She was aching inside. Pained and shocked to an almost unconscious state for it was only a week ago that she had learned of the death of her Great-Great Grandmother.

“At least, if I randomly spillover in tears no one will stare at me and ask questions...” she thought.

You are numb, weary, and weak. Your at camp but your not enjoying yourself. All you can think of is how cruel death is to knock upon your door so suddenly and crashing in stealing sacred souls that belong to you. Can death really do such a thing? Is death allowed to do such a thing? Is death even real? You shed tears at these tangled thoughts clouding your crown chakra, peeling at your sanity. Will it be over soon? Is she coming back? You weep a song that no ones cares to hear. Or so you feel no one cares, but he sees you. Not to far away he’s watching and he’s sent a gaurdian angel as messenger to love and protect you. You are found. Broken but you are found.

She is beautiful. The day is almost ending and she still sits under the willow tree. As she wipes her nose and begins to clear her face. The wind begins to blow mildly; and with blurred dampened, eyes she catches a figure peeking from the cabin windows. She is being watched. It is a boy glaring with peircing hazel eyes and intense concern. It is almost as if she can feel him reading her pains. The moment she buries her face between her lap in shame he has already begun to approach her. She notices this and she gathers herself as he approaches. He is there now standing infront of her with eyes curious and bewildered. He kneels beside her, wipes the tears she has forgotten and asks her name.

She has no response for him but stares. Numb,confused and astonished she stares whole heartedly as if she is peircing her eyes through the unforseen abyss of the dead sea.

“You are beautiful, and whatever it is that pains you, this too shall pass.”He says.

The boy sees she is weak from hurt and his words only cause her to wail harder than ever. With tears streaming down her face he grabs her and pulls her in tight. Wrapping his arms around her as she cries into his chest.

“Shes gone, she’s gone and I didn’t get to say goodbye and shes never coming back!” she cries

You have lifted and let go. Your not quite sure of why you feel so free to do so but it feels right. You cry and you don’t care if anyone hears you, sees you, or what theyre thinking.

Immediately realizing that death is what is causing her pain; for she doesn’t understand it and has never experienced such an event, he gently lifts her head up and hesitantly wipes her tears. Looking into to her burnished, glossy red eyes he assures her that evrythings going to be ok. He takes her hand and drags her along for a walk. They walk all over the mountains until they reach a water fall. The most beautiful scenic hideout within the landcaping of the camping grounds. Theres a Wheel House churning water beside it. The waterfall thundered down like lightning flashing the surrounding trees in surprisingly different shades. Shadows danced among them while trees stood silently like armored bark sentinels. The sun sent an army of light down emphasizing the beauty of the otherworldly environment.They talk for hours. He comforts her and explains it all. From angels, to intuition, spirits and gut feelings.

And after weeping for hours on end and almost throughout the whole walk of venting and sharing her story , her tears and fustration silenced and so did his words of wisdom. They both sat peacefully letting the cool mist of the waters and evening wind calmly whisper a lullaby so sweet and serene that for once they could both hear and see things so clearly. She learned a prayer that night.

Somewhere above, beneath the pale moonlight, intimitely thinking and wondering what such a moment could mean to you, you become lost in a world wind of hope. He say’s to her that where lies hope also lies faith. They come from similar places in your soul and you must always be listening for a response to both. You begin to speak to her.

“..It’s your little ladybug I just wanted to say Hi”

Your little lady bug never really shared with you a true Goodbye

But from up there now I wish you immense love and ask for protection

Lead me, and shadow me with serenity and wisdom…closing my eyes at night I mournfully dream of your nurturing, gentle sweet affection.Love your lady bug.”

Opening your eyes to the starry night sky glistening down upon you, your heart begins to accept every unanswered question, every fault, feeling, heart ache and pain just at the very moment a shooting star blazes across the night sky. The remaining days in the mounatins you wake up early to a roosters call just as the sun lifts into position.

She appreciated all things beautiful that surrounded her. The trees are alive with birds and squirrels. In the pond near the wheel house there are fish. She is not alone at all, yet the solitude that shed’e begun to achieve is that of a running faucet- draining away stress. The air has the gentle heat of the new season, not warm, or cold, but subdued. Everything feels new again. He meets up with her by the wheel house to check in on her for the next few days. They share laughs, and stories, vulnerable moments, hopes and dreams.

You are in love.

“Thank You”, she says.

It was the beginning of a transformation, & the start of a life long loving friendship. There is a question that surfaces inside of you? How did he find you? You know then , it is only that she sent for you to be found and so you look up to the stars and smile.